Luna is a ridiculous beast

We have two big dogs. One 90-pound, three-legged yellow lab named Dexter and one 10-month old 90+ pound (going on 150) Mastiff, named Luna. We were unable to bring to Costa Rica because of they’re extra large sizes. Well, unable might not be totally accurate. We could have driven the 72 hour trek  from Boise, Idaho to Brasilito, Guanacaste, Costa Rica. Or we could have flown them to San Jose (a 4.5 hour drive from Brasilito on a good day) for somewhere in the range of $1500-$2500, per dog each way – and we’d need to wait for the cooler months to avoid heat restrictions.

Dexter and Luna, our yellow lab and brindle mastiff
Dexter and Luna

So, given we’d only be in Costa Rica for just under a year, we would find them temporary homes. Dexter is with Shane’s parents on a large acreage and Luna is with some friends in Boise. When we inquired about Luna, this is the response we were provided in email and we thought it not only accurate but hilarious so wanted to share it.

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Shane,

Oh, are you collecting sunsets now? That’s just adorable. Couldn’t be more happy for you. Are you going to put them on the hutch, opposite your porcelain angel collection? I wouldn’t want them to get in the way of your library of collected love letters from the Victorian Era. It’s a good hobby, but I worry you won’t have enough time to finish your modernist revue inspired by Jane Austen Novels or your Etsy portfolio of nostalgic Rainbow Brite quilts.
But how you spend your time in paradise isn’t really my concern. I mostly wanted to report that you have half raised one of the more ridiculous beasts I have encountered. A few things:
@Lunathemastiffdog
Luna makes herself at home … on Jen’s head
1) Your text was not a surprise. We had to put her outside. But she basically attacked our sliding glass door for the duration. This begs some serious questions about what the hell you were doing when she was younger to provoke this response.
2) On our very first walk we passed a yard we pass every day to get to the park. A dog that lives there, Jake, barked at her to stay the hell off his lawn. He is behind a wrought iron fence and can’t get to her. Every day since she has sat down 10 feet from arriving at this house and refused to move until we cross the street to go around him. So brave.
But then we run into that dog, Jake, on the street on our way to the park. She trots up to him wagging her tail like its no big deal.
3) She shied away from a 3 pound weiner dog on the same walk.
4) I’ve never seen a dog that is a higher candidate for blowing out a joint. Her random, puppy bursts of sprinting with hairpin turns that never, ever work out are the most delightful and terrifying things I’ve ever seen.
5) She is certain we are trying to starve her to death. And is very disappointed that we’re onto her subtle deceptions. Our favorite though, is when she roots around the two food bowls after they have been emptied and snorts loudly, like she was a hog searching for truffles.
6) You didn’t mention the snoring.
7) Or the shoe chewing.
Luna and Yosarian make friends
Luna tries to befriend Yosarian-who is still not sure about this new beast in his house
8) She’s also teaching us about our dog [Yosarian], who is apparently Sid from Tom Sawyer.
9) Is she even capable of producing a solid bowel movement? I cleaned up the yard yesterday and seriously started thinking about withholding water until she’s dehydrated.
10) Her stone cold killer noises at the park as she rampages would be frightening if they came out of any other dog’s mouth.
11) Obviously we’re deeply in love. And you can’t have her back.
Sincerely,
Sean
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Thank you Sean Olson, Jen Cammann, and of course, Yosarian for housing and loving our ridiculous beast! -Don’t get too attached. 😉